It happens that once in a while spams can be really creative or at least really weird. These are my top 5. I kept the writing as original, but removed occasional hyperlinks, just in case anyone says I'm spreading virus or something. Enjoy!
5. The Sex-Business Penpal
"Subject: I am finally became a boss
Hundreds of lovely woman will be glad to get a letter from you."
First of all, thanks for sharing your life, anonymous friend. I am happy to know that you became a boss (although your grammar is even worse than mine), but I'm really curious to know how is that related to the content of your message. Did you become a boss of a women agency? Do these women communicate by letters?! Really? Is this a spam just for snail mail lovers or what?
4. The bullying
"Hi Bárbara Prince!
You still have 0 new messages in your InterPals inbox from .
To read your messages, view your inbox."
Seriously, InterPals? Are you really telling me what a forever alone I am? Oh, thank you for your e-mail, but I bet you sent it because you don't have new messages either, do you?
3. The Eclectic
"from: Pamela Anderson weight loss Free trial
subject: Your morning fashion and beauty report: Anne Hathaway?"
You all have to agree that this is a strategic spam. I bet everyone is interested in at least one of these topics: Pamela Anderson, losing weigh, Anne Hathaway, fashion and beauty. Aren't you? Well, me neither. But that was a nice try from them!
2. The International Relations
I seek your confirmation to transfer fund to your country for investment.Contact me for details.
Mr. Fred Huang Ming."
Mr. Fred Huang Ming,
If you're really interested in investing on my country, I have a better idea: maybe you should contact my president! For real, man, I am a simple citizen with financial problems, you better not trust that I will invest your fund to my country. You may found out I'm not THAT much of a patriot.
1. The Adriana
"BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?
In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. [...]"
Okay, this hot(?) girl seems to think I know her and wants to be with me. Seems legit. It goes on:
"we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt.."
Ok, you started telling me about your zodiac and your cat and now you're horny. I'm still lucky that I "accidentally" got your e-mail. ~yay!
"do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i did? hmm shud i......????"
No, I'm not interested.
"ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out..."
And it goes on and on. In the end, there's a super safe link to watch Adriana naked (despite her statement that she's not writing to you because of that).
My surprise is that not only this spam is huge and has a story (is some bored writer doing this?), that it's also a multiple spam: I'd already received three other e-mails from Adriana, telling me about her life and inviting me to see her naked. Whoever is faking this is really putting some effort on it!
I hope this list made you laugh a little or even made you a little curious: what weird things can be on my spam inbox (except, of course, from the default things like "get it larger" and "you won the lottery")? Go check it and don't forget to turn on your firewall!